REAL

Good Evening! It's late and I'm cold, yes I said cold, but I just couldn't sleep without getting some thoughts out of my head. Do you ever have times where there is such a jumbled array of thoughts shooting around in your brain, that you just know you have to let them out or they will explode? Yeah? Me too....

I have had some recent events in my life that have caused me to stop and think again about what I REALLY believe. I mean, when push comes to shove, am I REALLY willing to give up everything and follow the One who saved me from myself? And when I say the word everything, I mean just that...

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

I don't know about you but, more times than not, I don't want to do this! I don't want to give up things that make me feel good. Am I alone here? Seriously, I have lost things for the sake of my faith and, I have to say, it hurts. Don't misunderstand me, I am not having a pity party here. I guess I just needed to say this out loud and have someone else say, "I get it." Loss hurts. Period. Even if it's for my good.

I would think that most people who do not know Him would probably think that it's a crazy thing to deny yourself. Life is all about happiness and instant gratification in our culture and sometimes I just want to jump on this bandwagon. I hate that this is true. Lately, I am totally into quoting people who are smarter than me because they somehow say what I'm thinking, only much prettier. =) Donald Miller says, "The problem with Christian belief-I mean REAL Christian belief, the belief that there is a God and a devil and a heaven and a hell-is that it is not a fashionable thing to believe." Nope. Not popular, especially where I'm living, and not easy.

This last quote pretty much helps me to come to terms with why I am usually dissatisfied. I am content in my circumstances, but not satisfied. How about you?

"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world. -C.S. Lewis

I just wish I could make everyone see that we were ALL made for another world. Not just some of us, ALL of us. I think this is where most of my tears come from these days. When people walk around and don't know their Daddy, their REAL Daddy, this makes my heart sad. Believing this changes everything!

Well, I feel better now that I've gotten that out of my head. I wish I was a more eloquent writer, but perhaps I will improve as time goes on. I hope you are enjoying your December.

Here's to REAL change!

Nikki