REAL

Good Evening! It's late and I'm cold, yes I said cold, but I just couldn't sleep without getting some thoughts out of my head. Do you ever have times where there is such a jumbled array of thoughts shooting around in your brain, that you just know you have to let them out or they will explode? Yeah? Me too....

I have had some recent events in my life that have caused me to stop and think again about what I REALLY believe. I mean, when push comes to shove, am I REALLY willing to give up everything and follow the One who saved me from myself? And when I say the word everything, I mean just that...

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

I don't know about you but, more times than not, I don't want to do this! I don't want to give up things that make me feel good. Am I alone here? Seriously, I have lost things for the sake of my faith and, I have to say, it hurts. Don't misunderstand me, I am not having a pity party here. I guess I just needed to say this out loud and have someone else say, "I get it." Loss hurts. Period. Even if it's for my good.

I would think that most people who do not know Him would probably think that it's a crazy thing to deny yourself. Life is all about happiness and instant gratification in our culture and sometimes I just want to jump on this bandwagon. I hate that this is true. Lately, I am totally into quoting people who are smarter than me because they somehow say what I'm thinking, only much prettier. =) Donald Miller says, "The problem with Christian belief-I mean REAL Christian belief, the belief that there is a God and a devil and a heaven and a hell-is that it is not a fashionable thing to believe." Nope. Not popular, especially where I'm living, and not easy.

This last quote pretty much helps me to come to terms with why I am usually dissatisfied. I am content in my circumstances, but not satisfied. How about you?

"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world. -C.S. Lewis

I just wish I could make everyone see that we were ALL made for another world. Not just some of us, ALL of us. I think this is where most of my tears come from these days. When people walk around and don't know their Daddy, their REAL Daddy, this makes my heart sad. Believing this changes everything!

Well, I feel better now that I've gotten that out of my head. I wish I was a more eloquent writer, but perhaps I will improve as time goes on. I hope you are enjoying your December.

Here's to REAL change!

Nikki

Blessed With Work

Ok, I'm just gonna admit that I SUCK AT BLOGGING!! There, I said it and I feel so much better now. ;) I am sitting here humbled and thankful for what God has been doing in my life the past few months. Since April, I have been working at the American Idol Experience at Disney's Hollywood Studios. I have been full time since August and I am loving every minute of it! Here I am on the job.


As you can see, as far as Disney uniforms go, I am pretty lucky!

My other new job is singing in the Frog Choir at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter! I am singing in a quartet as the soprano from Slytherin. I know, I know.... nobody really wants to be a Slytherin, but if you read the end of the book, it's really not so bad. I usually have to pinch myself that I get paid to sing! God, You really know how to bless this girl. Here I am in my HOTT (literally and fashionably speaking) costume. Yes, I am wearing a wool vest and YES this is in Florida.... and NO, it's not a mole, it's a microphone. =)

And last, but certainly not least, today was my first shadow day for learning to be a Disney Sings Workshop Clinician. I told you God was blessing me abundantly! I took my kids from Hillgrove to this particular workshop the last year that I taught there and LOVED it! My first teaching day is December 18th... prayers are welcome for sure!

I have SO much more to share, but I refuse to put up a loooooonnng blog. I have just been so busy with work, you didn't hear that from me a year ago, that I have had little down time lately.

I hope that this finds you and yours healthy and content in wherever God has you.

His way is the best way....I am learning that more and more each day!

Much love to you....

Encore Presents...... Dream Our Dreams!!

My oh my, how time flies! I cannot believe it has been so long since my last post, but life has been BUSY!! I like that I have been busy because it makes me feel like I am finally making Orlando home. The end of June marked 1 year down here in Orlando. I really do not know how a year went by so quickly, but God has been faithful and even deeper healing has happened. The master physician has been hard at work and it makes me grateful that I am not the one with the scalpel in my hand!

One of the best things that has happened this year has been my new job at Disney. I am a Casting Director at the American Idol Experience at Disney's Hollywood Studios and I'm loving it! I am the first person to listen to a guest sing and then put them through to the Producer if they are a strong singer. The Producer then puts that guest in one of our seven shows of the day if they like them enough....very much like going to "Hollywood" on the real American Idol show. More importantly, I get work with some of the best people and have already made some heart connecting friends. Everyday is different and I get to meet people from all over the world!

Being a Disney Cast Member also allowed me to be a part of the Encore Choir. Encore is an organization made up of Disney Cast Members and their families. We were almost 500 people strong including orchestra, dancers, actors, and production/tech team. We rehearsed from May to August and just had our 4 shows this past weekend. All proceeds from the show went to the Make a Wish Foundation. I had the honor of helping lead the female sectionals a few times and also getting to be a part of a quintet singing "Human Again" from Beauty and the Beast on Broadway. I got to play the french maid Babette. How fun! Here are some pictures from this amazing experience.

Here are many of my friends who work at Idol with me!


I love Joshua Vickery!

Me and our show director Clay Price. He is the best!

My "Human Again" Quintet. Love these folks!


More of my new friends.

It was many long nights and hard work, but the show was amazing! I am now in Chicago visiting my family and getting some much needed r & r. I get back to Orlando late on Friday and get to start full time hours at American Idol on Sunday. Thank you God for providing and allowing me to have so much fun in the process.

Until next time,

Nikki

May was a Marvelous Month!

Can you believe that it's June already!?? I remember the years of being a teacher and longing for the month of June to come. Summer with all its endless possibilities and adventures would call to me in the grey coldness of February and I would start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This year has been different in so many ways and not having a real "summer break" is one of those differences. Not to mention, February in Florida is a wonderful time of the year and the summer months are the ones that I do not long for. Humidity is NOT my friend!

Last month I was able to go home to Chicago to visit with the family and be a part of my niece Paige's Baptism. She is so munchable and I miss her when I'm not with her. I did get to take some pictures of the angel in her Christening dress that my Auntie Chrissy made for her. My aunt is so talented and so willing to make us the most beautiful and meaningful things. We are most thankful that she shares her talent with us.


Here is me and my beautiful godchild. I am so in love with this little girl.



Here is one of my favorite pictures from the weekend. Her dad really knows how to make her laugh! Precious.



Lastly, every baby needs a keepsake photo of them eating. I had such a blast watching Andrea feed Paige. The little monkey just loves her rice cereal.


The rest of the month just flew by and I got to do a few other fun things. First of all, I started training at Disney and now I am ready and dangerous. =) My first day flying solo was today and I had a great day! I am just so thankful for this opportunity.

Earlier this month I was also able to take pictures at my sister Laura's dance banquet. She has decided to leave teaching to raise Maya and seek other career options. I am so proud of her and was honored that she asked me to take the pictures. Here is a shot of Maya from the banquet. Don't you just LOVE the little curl on top of her head!!

Here is a pic of Luke and Laura. Now you can see why Maya is so dang adorable!



Well, that is just some of the events that happened this month. I am hoping to blog in the next couple of days about what is really going on in life.

Much love to all of you!

xoxo

The Magical Day

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to put up a VERY quick blog about my latest happenings. Things down here in sunny Orlando have started to heat up....and not just with the weather. =)

I was starting to get a little nervous about how I was going to pay the bills once the school year ended. I started a job of taking pictures of newborns at a few of the local hospitals here, but soon learned that this was NOT going to pay the bills. Not to mention, trying to take pictures of newborn babies who are crying while making next to nothing is NOT my idea of a good time.

So I knew, like most things, that God needed to show up and show up FAST! About a month ago, I finally got an interview to work at Disney's American Idol Experience at Hollywood Studios. I would be one of the initial judges for the show that says "yes" or "no" to "Hollywood." Anyway, 3 weeks went by and I had figured that I didn't get the job. Then at 5p.m. Friday 2 weeks ago, exactly 3 weeks after my interview, I GOT THE JOB!!!! So, from now on I am officially a Disney employee!

I still covet your prayers for more work this summer and for more community down here. On Saturday I'm off to Chicago for Paige's baptism. I am her godmother and I cannot wait to be with my family. More pictures to come when I return.

xoxo

The Visitors

Ok, so I'm not the BEST blogger in the world......but I'm trying!
To say that it's been busy the last month would be QUITE the understatement. My dad came into town at the beginning of March and then my brother Eric came to visit on his spring break. I am so proud of my brother and all that he is pursuing in his life. He is getting his master's degree from Rush in Chicago and is going into medical management. He got the internship this summer at Rush which is a very prestigious honor. We had such a great time while he was here. One day we went ocean kayaking and, let me tell you, what a workout! I have to say, the blisters were worth it. Here is Laura, Eric, and me after our 2 hours on the water. Eric is holding an orange because we found a bunch of oranges in the water because we were near some orange groves. The smell was awesome! One of the many perks of living in Florida.


Another day we went to the beach and the weather was incredible. Here is Maya on her first visit to the beach. All that sun seemed to make Maya SO SLEEPY.

My mom came to visit and it overlapped a few days of my brother being here. We all got to be together as Maya was dedicated to the Lord. Here are a few pictures of that special day. We all got to eat at Outback afterwards and it's was delicious. Thanks mom for the great lunch!

After my brother left, Andrea, Scott and Paige came for a week visit. My niece Paige is now 4 months old and she is getting so big! She is beautiful and I was able to get some great pictures of her. This is one of my favorites of her. She may have Scott's coloring, but she has Andrea's facial expressions for sure!

We all got to spend Easter together this year, which was so nice. I wanted to get some family pics for my sisters to have. Here is the beautiful Guerra Family.

And here is the awesome Detering Family. Look at Maya....she cracks me up. Too cute!


This blog was really just to catch you all up with pictures from my last month of visitors. I will certainly write again soon about what is really going on with me. I did start a new job last week taking pictures of newborns at a hospital. I will let you know how that is going when I have more to say about it. For now, let me leave you with some fun photos of my favorite nieces.

Paige

Maya

Cousins

Until next time!

Oh My Maya and I'm 32!

Greeting to you all!

It has been a while since I've last written, but things have just been SO busy! Here is a short update on what has been happening lately.

My sister Laura was expecting to deliver her little girl on March 5, but God had other plans. She had some pregnancy issues that left her in the hospital for 2 weeks! It was a time of waiting and wondering when little Maya would make her appearance. We were all praying that she would at least make it to 34 weeks and she did! On January 26, 2010 my new niece Maya Nicole was born!! She was 4.7 lbs and 18" long and totally healthy. She stayed in the NCIU for about 6 days and then was able to go home to her very excited parents. Because she was due on my birthday, her middle name is Nicole after me. I cannot tell you what an honor it is to have a niece with part of my name! I so look forward to being a very involved Auntie! Here are some pictures that I got to take of little Maya when she was a few weeks old. Couldn't you just eat her up!!

Our Little Princess

She is gonna be a Latin dancer, just like her mama! Snap it out Maya...
The little sweet pea!
She's is smirking already!
Another sweet surprise was that my dad was here visiting during my birthday. It was his first time meeting his second granddaughter. Here is dad and Maya.

On my actual birthday my dad and Laura and me got to go and hang out in St. Augustine. It was a bit chilly, but I love walking around on St. George Street and shopping and strolling. It was a great day! Here is a pic of me and my dad. There is no question that I am his daughter! =)

It's a bit ironic that Laura and I both went into teaching and are now both trying to do something else. I really did enjoy my time as a teacher, but it is time to do something else for a time. Laura feels the same way.

Sometimes I still cannot believe that I am 32, but I am learning to just enjoy the ride! God has brought so much healing and growth in my life and I am so thankful for every blessing and trial. I look forward to this year and all that it has in store!

Hope you are enjoying your year.....wherever you find yourself!

What To Do When Life Doesn't Look Like You Thought It Would

I know I am not alone in the feeling that this is NOT the life that I had dreamed of. Like most girls I had dreamed of a beautiful wedding and cute little house that I could call my own. A handsome prince who looks like James Marsden wouldn't hurt either. =) I wanted to be a mother of at least 2 children and have a job that made me want to get up in the morning. In my fantasy I also kept my slender figure and was one of those "graceful agers". The ones where grey hair was so distinguished and lovely and the wrinkles were few. Ahhh, I can just close my eyes and see my life the way I had dreamed it when I was younger. Unfortunately, when I open my eyes this is not what I see. My reality is far from the dreams of a young girl. I find myself divorced for over 4 yrs. with no children. I have a job that calls when they need me and have not been successful at finding much more employment. My palace is an apartment and let me just say, the ever increasing grey hairs are not all that attractive. Sometimes I just lose it and yell, "God, do You see me??!!" (of course, I do this in private so no one commits me). So, once again I ask, what does one do when life doesn't look like you thought?

I believe that I have the answer and it has taken me more than 6 months to realize it! It seems so simple and much smarter people than I have been doing it for a long time. I need to keep dreaming, and dreaming BIG! Killing your dreams is killing your hope for something different. I do not think we can survive long without hope. I also have figured out that it's all in our perspective. For example, I may not have children of my own yet, but my sisters have both just had 2 beautiful little girls. One of them is my godchild and the other has my name as her middle name. I cannot wait to buy them too many dresses and twirl with them and take them to Disney World and watch their faces light up when they see the all the wonder! Most importantly I hope to be an influence in their lives to know Jesus Christ. The One who created wonder and twirling and giggling and hope. And as for a job I love.... I now have the time and life experience to decide what I WANT to do! How freakin' awesome is that! I can decide to do something that makes my heart come alive and make a difference in the world. For now I may have to do some jobs I do not love, but I have a light at the end of the tunnel. AND one of the coolest things has been the opportunity to live with my BF Tiffany. I know that both of us would not have chosen for our marriages to fail, but in that we have gotten to be roommates! We get to laugh and cry as we watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition and talk about our dreams. It has been so amazing to have someone actually get me and understand exactly where I'm at. What a great gift that could not have happened if I were in control!

So you see, I would venture to say that most of us have a life that didn't look like we thought it would. The secret is that God knows what we need and He has plans for us that are much much bigger than we could have ever dreamed up. Our plans are so small compared to His and sometimes He has to shatter our dreams to make room for bigger ones. Please know that I do not feel this way all the time. I have my moments where I need to grieve and cry and hit something or talk out my disappointment for hours at a time. And I am only 31 and not quite ready to let my grey hair win. =) I just want my life to be an encouragement to others and I want God to guide my steps. How do you see your life? Could you change your perspective to see the beauty that is right in front of you?

Here's to dreaming BIG dreams!

My Oh My How Time Flies By....

Hola!! I hope this finds everyone getting back into the swing of life after the holidays. It's amazing how much cheer and warmth Christmas decorations add to a home. Our apartment seems so bare, and BIG, without them. So much has happened since my last post and I would love to share some of it with you.

First, and most important, my sister Andrea had her first baby! It was a 6lb 11oz baby girl and most of us thought she was having a boy. It came as quite a shock, but a very sweet surprise. They named her Paige Michele and she is the most beautiful little peanut I have ever seen! I got to spend 10 days in Chicago with my family and get to know my new niece. Here are some pictures I took of pretty Paige. You are going to fall in love as I have!

You have fallen in love, haven't you!

When I get to see my brother and sisters and family, we always have a great time. Here are some pictures from Christmas Eve.




Mommy and baby

Well, there you have it. I believe pictures are some of the best ways to tell a story so I don't have much more to say. I pray you all had a very Merry Christmas and that this year is filled with many blessings and new adventures. The glory of God is the human being fully alive. Do what makes you come alive!!

Until next time.....